Why the Body Doesn't Feel Safe: Somatic Therapy and Polyvagal Theory
Updated: Sep 27
Why the Body Doesn't Feel Safe: Polyvagal Theory
“Trauma is not what happens to us, but what we hold inside in the absence of an empathetic witness.” – Peter Levine
A note before you read.....
Polyvagal theory offers a widely used framework in somatic and trauma-informed practice for understanding how the nervous system responds to safety and threat. It is also the subject of significant scientific debate. In 2023 the psychophysiologist Paul Grossman argued that the theory's core biological premises are not supported by the evidence, and in 2026 a group of international researchers published a further critical evaluation, while Stephen Porges, who developed the theory, has responded to these critiques in detail. What holds across models is that the body responds to perceived safety and threat, that social connection is regulating and that nervous system flexibility is something we can gently support. I share polyvagal theory as a useful clinical map rather than as settled science.
In somatic therapy, we often say that the body does not feel safe, and it is worth pausing on what that really means. Feeling unsafe in your body is a deep physiological state as well as a thought, shaped by the nervous system and colouring how you experience yourself, other people and the world. Polyvagal theory offers one map for understanding this, helping to explain why you can know you are safe on one level and still feel anxious, numb or on edge in your body.
What does polyvagal theory tell us about feeling safe?
In somatic therapy, safety has less to do with whether the doors are locked or whether life is free from challenges, and more to do with whether your nervous system has enough capacity to soften, rest and engage with the world without being stuck in protection.
When the body does not feel safe, it shows up in many subtle ways. You might struggle to rest or sleep deeply even when you are exhausted, because your system keeps scanning for danger. You might find yourself caught in cycles of overthinking and hypervigilance, with your thoughts racing and your attention hooked on what could go wrong. You might feel numb, disconnected or shut down, as though you have lost access to your own aliveness, or you might react quickly to stress, with small triggers sparking irritability or collapse.
These patterns are the body's way of protecting you. For some people, protection looks like staying switched on all the time, while for others it looks like withdrawing, conserving energy and retreating inside.
Safety, then, is the felt sense that allows you to exhale fully, feel what you need to feel, trust connection and experience moments of ease without needing to brace. In somatic therapy we work gently towards this state, as a place your body can return to more often rather than a permanent destination.
What are the three states in polyvagal theory?
Polyvagal theory, developed by Dr Stephen Porges, offers a map of how the autonomic nervous system responds to safety and threat. Rather than treating stress as a single reaction, it describes different states the body can move through, each designed to protect us.
In the ventral vagal state, which the theory describes as safe and connected, the body feels grounded and at ease. Breathing is steady, the body can rest and digest and we can make eye contact or reach out to others. We feel curious, calm and able to respond to life rather than react to it, and this is the state that makes intimacy, play, creativity and authentic connection possible.
In the sympathetic state, the nervous system prepares us to fight or flee. The heart rate quickens, muscles tense and adrenaline rises, and you might feel restless, anxious, irritable or unable to sit still as your mind scans for danger. This state gives us energy to act, although living in it for too long becomes exhausting and hard to switch off.
In the dorsal vagal state, when fight or flight does not feel possible, the system may move into shutdown. The body conserves energy, breathing becomes shallow, digestion slows and emotions go numb, and we can zone out or even dissociate. People often describe feeling foggy, disconnected, hopeless or as though they are moving through life behind glass, and this happens automatically as the body's way of protecting against overwhelm.
Our bodies move through these states without our conscious choice, as survival responses wired deep within us, and this framework helps us name and recognise them. These states are part of being human, so the aim is to learn to recognise them and to support the system in moving between them with more flexibility.
What happens when the body gets stuck in protection?
In times of chronic stress or unresolved trauma, the nervous system can lose its natural rhythm and become stuck in protective modes. These states are meant to be temporary, helping us respond to immediate threats, although when they linger they begin to colour everyday life. Even if your mind knows you are safe now, your body may still be bracing, with tight shoulders, shallow breathing, a racing heart and restless sleep, as the past is carried forward through your physiology.
For some people, this looks like living mostly in sympathetic activation, constantly overworking, over-giving or striving, with a racing mind that never switches off, irritability or a sense of being on edge and an exhaustion that still does not allow for rest. For others, it feels more like shutdown, with numbness or disconnection from feelings and relationships, a heavy, foggy state that makes it hard to concentrate, difficulty finding motivation or energy and a sense of being cut off from joy, creativity or vitality. Sometimes people swing between the two, pushing hard until the system collapses.
Somatic therapy helps the body catch up with the mind. Through gentle awareness and regulation practices, it supports the nervous system in releasing protective bracing and rediscovering its natural capacity for movement and balance. Over time, you build the flexibility to visit these states without getting stuck in them, so your body can return more easily to safety, connection and ease.
How does stress affect the body's hormones?
When the body does not feel safe, the endocrine system, the network of glands and hormones that helps regulate our stress response, also shifts into survival mode. In moments of perceived threat, cortisol and adrenaline are released to prepare us for action, which in short bursts is protective and even lifesaving.
When stress becomes chronic, these systems can stay activated for longer than they are designed to. The neuroscientist Bruce McEwen described the cumulative wear and tear this creates as allostatic load, which over time can affect sleep, digestion, immunity and energy. Many people living with long-term stress or trauma notice patterns of fatigue or burnout that may reflect this.
As the nervous system gradually finds more balance, the stress response has more opportunity to settle too. Clients often notice that as they begin to feel safer, their sleep deepens, their digestion steadies and their energy slowly returns. If you have ongoing physical symptoms, it is always worth speaking with your GP alongside any somatic work.
What does nervous system regulation look like in somatic therapy?
In practice, nervous system regulation in somatic therapy means creating the conditions in which your body can begin to remember what safety feels like, without forcing calm or trying to erase anxiety.
Tracking sensations
Tracking involves gently noticing what is happening inside, such as a flutter in the chest or warmth in the belly, and observing how these sensations shift when they are given attention. Over time, this helps you trust your body's language rather than fear it.
Grounding and breath
Small anchors, such as feeling your feet on the floor, lengthening your exhale or pressing your hands together, can let your nervous system know that the present moment is safe enough.
Movement and discharge
Sometimes the body needs to move to complete stress responses that were left unfinished, perhaps through a shake of the hands, a stretch or a sigh. What looks small from the outside can be deeply regulating inside.
Widening the window of tolerance
The psychiatrist Dan Siegel described the window of tolerance as the range within which we can experience emotions and sensations without tipping into overwhelm or shutdown. In somatic therapy, we gently widen this window by learning to stay present with feelings a little longer, which builds resilience one step at a time.
Co-regulation
Co-regulation means experiencing safety in connection with another person, whether through the therapeutic relationship or with partners, friends and community. When we spend time with a regulated nervous system, our own begins to settle too. In my work, this can also include attuned, fully clothed touch through NeuroAffective Touch®, which you can read more about in my post NeuroAffective Touch® Therapy in the UK: What a Session Is Like
Protective states will always be part of being human, so somatic therapy helps you move through them with more ease, returning to balance, rest and connection once the storm has passed.
What are the everyday signs of safety and threat?
Your nervous system does not need a big crisis to shift state, since it happens in the smallest of moments. Think about how your body feels when you are with someone who truly listens. Your shoulders drop, your breath slows and there is a sense of softening inside, which is your nervous system registering safety.
Now compare that with what happens when you receive a critical email, notice tension in someone's voice or remember something you forgot to do. Your jaw tightens, your breath becomes shallow and perhaps your stomach flips, as your body braces for threat even when there is no physical danger.
These everyday shifts matter because they shape how we experience life. If your system spends most of its time in protection, it becomes hard to access rest, play or genuine connection. Somatic therapy helps you become fluent in this language of the body, so you can notice these shifts sooner, respond with care and gently guide yourself back towards safety.
Why does feeling safe in the body matter?
As your body begins to feel safe again, rest becomes more possible, relationships often feel easier and more nourishing, creativity and play return, boundaries become clearer and your inner trust deepens.
This is why somatic therapists talk about safety so often, since it forms the foundation for healing, connection and aliveness. When the body feels safe, old survival strategies no longer have to run the show, and you have more choice in how you respond, more energy for what nourishes you and more space to be present with yourself and others. Safety becomes the ground from which growth, intimacy and vitality can emerge.
A gentle path forward
If your body does not feel safe right now, your nervous system is doing its best with what it has learned. Through somatic therapy and nervous system regulation, you can gradually begin to experience safety as something you feel in your body as well as something you know in your mind.
If you would like support, you are warmly welcome to book a free connection call, which is a relaxed conversation about what you are experiencing and whether working together feels right for you, with no pressure either way.
And if you would rather explore at your own pace, the Sunday Pause arrives in your inbox each week with a short practice to come back to. You are warmly welcome to sign up using this form below.
About the author
Laura Starky is an integrative somatic therapist based in Beverley, East Yorkshire, offering sessions in person and online. Her path into this work began in pre-hospital emergency care and continued through 25 years in social work across child protection, substance misuse and mental health. Her somatic training began with ISOHH and has since deepened through NeuroAffective Touch® training with Dr Aline LaPierre. She holds ACCPH Senior Member accreditation and works under regular professional supervision.
Laura is also a qualified yoga and meditation teacher and a committed practitioner of contemplative practice, rooted mainly in the non-dual tradition of Shaiva Tantra.
Resources and references
Research
Grossman, P. (2023) Fundamental challenges and likely refutations of the five basic premises of the polyvagal theory. Biological Psychology, 180, 108589. Available at: https://doi.org/10.1016/j.biopsycho.2023.108589
McEwen, B. S. (1998) Protective and damaging effects of stress mediators. New England Journal of Medicine, 338(3), pp. 171–179.
Porges, S. W. (1995) Orienting in a defensive world: mammalian modifications of our evolutionary heritage. A polyvagal theory. Psychophysiology, 32(4), pp. 301–318.
Porges, S. W. (2023) The vagal paradox: a polyvagal solution. Open access via the Polyvagal Institute at polyvagalinstitute.org.
Books
Levine, P. A. (2010) In an Unspoken Voice: How the Body Releases Trauma and Restores Goodness. Berkeley: North Atlantic Books.
Porges, S. W. (2011) The Polyvagal Theory. New York: W. W. Norton.
Siegel, D. J. (1999) The Developing Mind. New York: Guilford Press.
Last updated: September 2026
